Speaking to this essay, to be honest, for a long long time, I haven't written any official things, except for some diaries, if they are counted for. I don't even know if I could write or speak something in public even in Chinese. So, I guess, it doesn't matter which language I use now, Chinese or English, either of which is better, for its mission of communicating.

Between the lines above, some air of loneliness might be read, maybe just for this moment, they ARE loneliness, and something else, that could be scare or boring things. This is the moment of my life, technically, which might be anti-life for its hollow style.

I don't want to speak out some splendid words to please the authorities. This is the real me.

Then why I am living now, vividly seems like, aren't I, here to participate in this essay writing activity?

Human beings are contradicted and complicated. If some insisted and simple brands should be found from those human being creatures that could separate them from each other, that could be their wishes, equal word of dream, which is a regular simple saying.

Dream should never be going to come to an old fashion, even though, it is not going so far that someone's dream is not only real and lively, but also secret and silent.

I'm glad to meet those people here who are brave to pursue their dreams or at least hold their dreams, and some open-minded life style beyond the ocean, under their language. That is splendid.

I wish my spirit, mad, if it is going to be, in a frantic way, but not in a blue. Frantic is another word of real me.

So, what is called secret may have the features of shy, shameful; may be dark, horrified and illegal as well.

Sometimes a secret dream is beautiful and simple with a little shyness; sometimes a frantic mad mind is driven by the tough life which is seriously not easy.

For the first case, as I heard, the TV star, Wenzhang who had always been a model of responsible marriage man stirred the turmoil of extramarital affair event, for his secret love. Love is beautiful which has connected him with his wife and children. Now, however, has become a challenge to the right thing and his happy, peaceful life. While, for the second case, as I just read on the blog of another TV star Liutao whose husband is undergoing very serious business troubles, mental disease and debts, this kind of secret is frightening, and the one who is suffering the same situation should be touched, while, most probably every family should have its issues. Liutao is a good woman. She saved her husband, although, the disasters are still there, but they are refreshed again, holding the key to the door to the future and their hands together tightly.

I do have a secret dream. That is simple. I could walk safely in the park surround my window with my boyfriend whose life just happens to be the horrifing type; that I could walk my dogs and take some photos, putting them on my Qzone, but not for the fear of the dangers outside, instead of shutting them down.

That is a simple but big dream.

I long for the day when all the suffering people could face their immediate secret bravely, get through the obstacles, and greet the time the dark clouds scattered away, while the dawn, with full splendid sunshine, would present finally.

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